I just feel like being lame and complaining to someone and eat junk food…but no one wants to listen and I dont blame them because I’ve complained alot about this same issue. It may sound dumb, but this time it’s different…this time I’m confused about not only what to do and how to handle this, but also confused as to why I’m confused about this issue.
I don’t understand myself.
If this were anyone else who acted the same way, I would have no issue tossing them aside and feeling righteous in my anger towards them.
Sure, he did some great things for me and his personality is something I longed for in a person…but the bad was getting heavier and heavier.
It breaks my heart knowing he’s the guy I want and the only issues we have are things that mean a lot to me in a relationship, in a partner, in a lover, and in a friend.
Things I can’t simply overlook and let myself accept the exact opposite of.
If I did….that would be forfeiting my beliefs and ultimately who I am.
….and yet, if these are such a problem to me…why don’t I hate him?
Why am I not relieved about dumping him?
I know we basically grew up together, but still…he is everything I’m not when it comes to the “bigger picture” of “us”.
I wish we could’ve negotiated or that he would at least TRY take my feelings seriously, but instead they were irrational, over dramatic, blown out of proportion, and just plain stupid.
That fucking hurts to hear from someone you adore about something you fewl strongly about and want to address and yet it was brought into every serious discussion.
Do I think he’s a bad person for not thinking the way I do or at least trying to negotiate with me?
He’s a wonderful person…but a person I know deep down that I cannot sacrifice who I am for.
That’s what kills me the most.
It’s either give in to everything he thinks or stand up for my beliefs and say “I can’t take this”.
So, it’s ultimately what I want to do vs. What I know I need to do….and it’s fucking killing me
My boyfriend broke up with me and my 80 year old, 5 foot tall, Indian grandmother told me that “there are lots of men…”
I thought she was then going to say “…in the sea” but she said “…they’re like flies” and made a disgusted face.
She hates flies.
I like the sound of your grandmother.